Before 25: One Day At A Time

Aye Mates!

How are you? Hope all is well, healthy and safe wherever whenever you are. As I’m turning 25, per usual I’m writing a letter for myself. What I’ve learned from the past year and also a message for the next upcoming year (if I’m still allowed to live another year). The main keywords from the past year has been “Surrender to God” and a message for the next year “One Day At A Time”. Read on.

 

25. As people says, quarter life crisis. Why? 

As I read an article, 25 is the ideal age to be content with our journey. They say:

“25 you should’ve own this or that”

“25 you should have this job”

“25 you should have own certain amounts of saving”

“25 should’ve this or that and the list goes on”

 

To be very honest, I almost didn’t realize all the things I should’ve achieve at certain ages until my own family said “at your age I got married and have kids”. It subconsciously gives pressure to me, I’m comparing myself to the situation, the society, the surrounding and the people. 

 

I worry for my future. I worry why my pace seems to be slower than other. I worry I feel stuck and not getting any further. I worry I’m left behind. Asking “why he/she seems to be so good and have it all” and I’m still in my waiting room, doesn’t seems to see God’s moving or answering any of my cries. Especially with this Covid19 and staying at home, it feels like the world is on pause mode and telling me to just sit still while there are tons of things I should run to achieve it. Hearing the news daily how many people died of Covid19, gives me a little anxiety and all what ifs scenarios just run freely on my mind.

 

But thank God really, through all the cell group, sermon and devotional, I realized that at this moment it’s time for me (or us) to rest and fully surrender to God. Be still. It may seems everything is beyond my control but God is still in control and He’s still in charge of the large. We human are limited but God’s not, He’s unlimited and super able to bring us out of our waiting season. Trust His timing, it’s perfect! I experienced it myself and I can testify on it :)

 

As for meeting the social standard or comparing myself to other’s success, this is a reminder that you’re going to be okay. You have seen God answered the prayers of others and He will surely do the same for you. It takes longer because it’ll be an answer that could bless many. Your waiting season has a purpose and God is the mastermind.

 

Hey you, yes you have tons of things to achieve, but remember this: One Day At A Time.

Shift the focus not on the problem but on the progress. Just keep doing you. Work as hard as you can, for your own good (also take a rest if needed) and don’t forget a prayer a day keeps the worries away. 

 

How far you come is also an achievement. Be proud of yourself. Give a little applause to yourself. Be a little kinder to yourself. Pat yourself and say “thank you, you’ve done well”. Even when you don’t see it but God is still working and He never stop. Come to Him and dream again. Find hope and rest in Him while you wait. One day at a time.

 

“I have made you strong. Soon, I will make you happy.” –God :)

-Wise Woman Waits 31 Days Devotional by Sasha Tjie

Thank you for reading.

Hope you are well, healthy, safe and sane during this pandemic. Let's end Covid19 pandemic together. Hand in hand.

God bless you :)

-Cheers, Michelle Sanjaya (who's now 25 years young)

Suncut Tone Up UV Essence + Clear Turn Babyish Mask A,B,C @kosecosmeportid #TryItWithChelle

 Aye Mates!

How are you? Hope you all are well, safe and healthy. I am so thrilled and honoured to be able to try out Kose Cosmeport New Products, Suncut Tone Up UV Essence Sunscreen and Clear Turn Babyish Mask A, B, C. Many thanks Clozette Indonesia (@ClozetteID) and Kose Cosmeport Indonesia (@KoseCosmePortid) for letting me try this product out. Take a look below for full review.

- Suncut Tone Up UV Essence Sunscreen - 

To be very honest, this is a love at first sight HAHAA! First the packaging is in lilac colour and when I squeeze it out for the first time, OMAGAAAA, IT’S IN LIGHT LILAC COLOR!!! SO PRETTY!! This product claims to protect the skin from UV A and UV B with sPF 50+ & PA++++. It also claims to brighten the skin as if you’re using filter lol. It could also be use as makeup base and has Allerguard formula to prevent from external pollution.

Below I’ll breakdown the ingredients contained:

-Raspberry: nourish and moisturise the skin. Since it’s packed with antioxidants, it could prevent the damaging effects of the sun, prevent redness and slow down aging.

-Lemon: antioxidant, slow down sebum, brightens the skin, may help reduce skin damage and premature aging.

-Hyaluronic Acid: moisturise the skin, reducing the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles.

-Vitamin C Derivative: antixodiant.

After one week usage, I really like it!! What they claimed to brighten the skin tone. It really did!! But it’s not too much nor too white as if you’re wearing mask but the bright is natural and dewy look. The texture is creamy but what I loves the most is that it’s not sticky on the face and doesn’t makes my face looks shining oily lol. Definitely a ‘will repurchase’ for me!! They had at me at lilac lol.

Btw even if you’re currently just staying at home or just staying indoor basically, it is strongly advisable to still use sunscreen. Because we never know the rays of sunlight that comes through the window or elsewhere. I once read that we could get UV A or UV B from the rays of photocopy machine that is not good for your skin.

- Clear Turn Babyish Mask A, B, C -

One package contains 7 sheet masks. This mask could be use daily or for everyday usage. It claims to moisturise the skin, so it could feels like baby skin? Btw this product is sell exclusively at Watsons Store Indonesia, go try it out for yourself now. Below are the variants difference I’ve breakdown:

-A (the pink one): mainly contains hyaluronic acid, lipidure, amino acid, glycerin - that are good for extra moisture. As we know some of the ingredients are great for skin moisture.

-B (the yellow one): mainly contains collagen, honey, amino acid, hyaluronic acid that could intensify the skin elasticity. Collagen are very well known for anti-aging.

-C (the white one): mainly contains vitamin c, hyaluronic acid, glycerin, amino acid that could help brightens the skin.

I’ve tried to use this mask everyday and I lasts for 3 days straight so far lol. I put this mask on my face as advised for 10-15 minutes. The essence did feels very moisturising on the skin, it may feels a little sticky but it really absorbs really well to the skin. Leaving my skin feels so dewy and supple. The mask texture is also feels soft.

Overall it’s a yay and ‘will repurchase’ from my side. Especially the Suncut’s sunscreen doe!! It’s definitely my new found love. For sunscreen, as long you don’t make me looks like I’m wearing mask and not sticky, you’ve special place in my heart lol. Don’t forget that for the Clear Turn Babyish Mask A, B, C, you can get them at your nearest Watsons Store. If you did decide to try this product out let me know below on the comment box or tag and send me DM on Instagram @michellesanjaya.

Disclaimer: Skincare can have different effects on each human and it’s very personal. This product might works or not on me but I can’t guarantee it’ll work the same on yours. So let me know if you did try this product out.

Thank you and have a great day and stay safe and healthy mates!

-Cheers, Michelle

Instagram | Youtube | Twitter | Tiktok | Pinterest

Life Goes On

Hello? How are you all? Hope all is well.

It’s been such a while isn’t it? (always started with that, I’m sorry) I’ve been so caught up with my full-time job and part-time job. Seems like I’m complaining but yet I’m also grateful I have something to get my times passed. The reason I wanted to write this down is because I’ve been going through lots of thoughts on my mind and I’m tired going into denial stages.

Started off with my work, I'm a relationship manager at a bank and it is very related to target’s achievement. I’ve been hypnotising myself that all is well and I could achieve the targets but I just feel that I’ve been lacking so much and I don’t know when can it ever be enough. I really am trying my best. My side-job that I love doing but I can’t give my best due to some circumstances. Last but not least, my life that I thought has been well but I don’t know whether all is well or it’s just me trying to remains positive. I have faith that everything will be well, God is there and He’ll get me through this. But sometimes the world’s voices are too much and just whispered too harshly trying to shake the faith.

One word to describe my current condition: numb. I’m at the phase where I’m numb. I don’t know whether I’m happy, sad or anxious. I used to be very anxious when I haven’t get my work done but now I’m just “okay”. Typing this I have no emotion even though my physical situation tells I’m anxious (tremor hands & painful body aches here and there & heart beating super fast & typo everywhere (well you can’t tell now as I fix it on my last checking)). I’m trying to figure what is happening in my life. As hard to admit but I’m not going to deny it that I’m not okay.

When BTS released the Life Goes On song, I didn’t know the meaning yet but as I watched the video, I shed tears. After searching for the meaning, this part hits so bad “There’s no end in sight, is there a way out? My feet refuses to move” I feel like no words could describe my current situation better than this. I refused to move forward cause I’m too afraid on what’s next and whether I’m ready to bear all the uncertainty. I'm even afraid of facing tomorrow. I’ve been planting my heart with the words from my pastor “Be Alert -> Be Prepare -> Anticipate -> Ready for What’s Next -> It’s Gonna Be Okay, It Is Well With My Soul” I’ve been shaken. 

Right now, I’ve prayed and really surrendered my life to God. Trusting Him in all steps of my life, let Him process and turning me into a person He wish I become. It’s okay. Do not worry cause cause God is my strength and His power will sustain me. Also as what BTS said “like an echo in the forest, the day will come back around, as if nothing happened, yeah life goes on”.

I hope whoever reading this are all well and if you are not okay, just a kind reminder that this too shall pass. Sounds super cliche but it’s the only motivation that could helps us get through. Find something that could make you happy or even pause and take a breath and rest for a while. You’ve did so well. Give yourself a pat on the shoulders. As I’m typing this also serves as a reminder to myself to get through. It may seems hard but always be grateful in all situations.

*Ps. I may or may not be aware or on my straight mind when I’m typing this. So if it’s confusing to comprehend the above narrations, let me know. I just keep on typing what’s on my mind or what just popped in my head.

As Beautiful As Posy Beauty

Aye Mates!

How are you? Hope all is well. Hari ini aku mau mereview salah satu brand local Indonesia yaitu Posy Beauty!! Aku dapat products dari Posy Beauty (@posybeautyid) ini juga sebagai project bareng Clozette Indonesia (@clozetteid). So terus baca ke bawah untuk more infos tentang Posy Beauty dan review aku setelah pemakaian produknya pada diri aku sendiri.

Pertama aku mau sedikit info tentang Posy Beauty itself. Posy Beauty didirikan oleh 2 perempuan Indonesia, Diandra dan Amanda pada tahun 2017 di website mereka. No worries karena Posy Beauty lip matte aman, they’re halal, vegan, cruelty free, dan lipstick mereka sendiri mengandung Vitamin E sehingga tidak membuat bibir kering, menutrisi bibir, meregenerasi sel kulit bibir dan sangat pigmented (I tested it out myself!! Aku sendiri udah coba kok!!).

// Gluttony //

Aku excited banget jujur untuk mencoba Posy Beauty ini karena aku sendiri jarang banget menemukan vegan lipstick matte local, lipstick halal dan tahan lama. Dari membaca brief infos tentang Posy Beauty aja udah excites me karena to be very honest aku tuh kalau bisa membeli products locally, aku lebih setuju! Karena pertama I’m very proud bisa membeli matte lipstick Indonesia, as an Indonesian I’m so proud of my fellow Indonesian friends especially girls support girls, so happy for Diandra and Amanda. Kedua, dengan banyaknya beauty brands keluaran Indonesia, it proofs kalo Indonesia juga tidak kalah innovative dengan negara luar sana. Ketiga, dengan adanya local brands it could contributes to perekonomian Indonesia. Jadi yuk terus lanjut baca untuk review aku setelah pemakaian.

// Lust //

Aku waktu dapet liquid lipstick Posy Beauty jujur aku skeptical. Aku takut kalo liquid lipstick itu bakal sangat mengeringkan bibir aku dan susah untuk diaplikasikan ke bibir. Waktu aku ngeliat warnanya jujur cantik banget donggg! Aku dapet 3 warna. Pertama “Pride” lebih ke maroon brick red gtu, kedua “gluttony” lebih ke baby pink and ketiga “lust” lebih ke magenta pink keunguan. Gluttony sendiri merupakan warna dari Posy Beauty yang diluncurkan pada 14 February 2019 di hari Valentine sesuai dengan suasana dan temanya. 

// Pride //

Dari 3 warna yang paling aku suka Pride karena menurutku red brick itu warna yang safe dan masuk ke semuanya. Aku jujur warna pink bukan warna aku banget Karena pink colors make my skin paler atau pucat. Tapi surprisingly waktu aku pake Gluttony suka banget! Aku berasa susah banget menemukan shade of pink yang cocok di aku dan aku berasa ini cocok banget banget. Lipstick ini mungkin pas awal pakai aku berasa agak menggumpal dan susah diaplikasikan tapi setelah beberapa kali pakai enak banget dipake dan brush lipsticknya soft. Finishing dari lipstick ini juga soft-matte dan yang terpenting itu tidak bikin kering sama sekali terus selama lipsticknya stays di bibir itu bibirku berasa enteng kayak tidak pakai lipstick gitu~ Karena lipstick ini mengandung Vitamin E obviously bisa merawat juga menutrisi bibir dan membantu meregenerasi sel kulit bibir, dapat mengembalikan warna bibir menjadi natural seperti semula dan dapat mengurangi garis-garis halus di bibir. Menurutku Posy Beauty merupakan salah satu lipstick matte brand local terbaik. Aku definitely bakal nyobain yang nude colorsnya soon sih, apalagi yang Wrath warnanya cantik banget can imagine it on my lips.

Lipstick Posy Beauty ini juga quite affordable dengan harga IDR 149,900 dan dapat dibeli melalui website Posy Beauty (www.posybeauty.co.id) atau official online store seperti Sociolla, Shopee, Blibli.com, Tokopedia, Line Shopping, dan Lazada, komplit banget kan? Tapi jika kalian mau liat dulu warnanya in real life baru nentuin mau beli yang mana juga bisa banget langsung ke Lakon Store (Kelapa Gading), Lunadorii Store (Pacific Place, MOI, Mall Ciputra) untuk yang di Jakarta yah. Di Bandung, Semarang, Medan, Pontianak, dan lainnya juga ada kok bisa langsung check website dan Instagram Posy Beauty langsung yah.

To sum up my experience:

(+) Me Likey

-       Sleek packaging, stunning kelihatan expensive

-       Sizing lipsticknya juga okay cukup buat di tas kecil

-       Ga bikin bibir kering, meskipun dipakai seharian

-       Tahan meskipun di wipe out pake tissue

(-) Need Improvement

-       Lipsticknya sedikit menggumpal di wand pas awal dibuka

Reach Posy Beauty on  Instagram, Facebook, Youtube, Twitter, and Website

-Cheers, Michelle
Instagram | Youtube | Twitter | Pinterest | My Online Shop

Leaps of Worries

Aye Mates!

To kick-off 2020, wishing you all HAPPY (belated) NEW YEAR 2020 and may this year be fill with blessings, joys, prosperity and health all year around #AMEN. I can't believe that 2020 is already here and 2019 passed just like that in a blink of an eyes. To be very frank and honest with y'all, I am so not ready for 2020. To start I'm not ready to part ways with my friends (while typing this I did part ways with them already), did my grand-dialogue (something like thesis defence in my company as I'm MT), socialising as I'm going to be relationship manager which requires me to meet new people as potential client and collaborate with other people from different department, and my list of worries goes on and on and on.

Well worries are something that will stick very close to us even though we've tried to shake it off multiple times, it seems like we succeed but little did we know it's always there ready to haunts us like a hungry wolf. People always told me to not keep everything to ourselves it's better to share it with someone else but I'm just afraid I guess. Afraid to be judge, afraid to be left, afraid to let anyone know. Recently I did shared my worries with a friend of mine and at first I never have the intention to share everything but everything just flows out from my lips that I wish I could shut myself up. Well that person just shook and asked me "why?" when I don't even knows the answer myself. That person did encouraged me and saying everything will be fine that I don't have to worry, instead when I do have to worry it's okay for me to share it, it's better than keeping everything to myself. I'm thankful but at the same time I still worried for everything. Which I don't understand why, but please do let me know how do you overcome your worries below and if you would like to share you stories with me also feel free I'm here to listen :)

-Cheers, Michelle
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As A Robinson Crusoe

Agashe.Co's Sandal & Bucket Hat ~ HM's Sunnies & Canvas Bag ~ Jochebed.Id's Cooky Fan

Aye Mates!

How are you? I hope all is well.

As for myself, lots of things happened ever since my last post or in other words "after 23".

First, I resigned from my last job and company and move to other company (still a bank doe #banker lol.. nope). 25th October was my last day and marked my 1 year 5 months working in the previous bank. To be very honest, I don't know how to feel. I'm excited for the new adventure and challenges but at the same I'm quite heavy-hearted leaving the bank, it's been like my comfort zone (even though the job desc is quite risky lol but the people has always been like a family for me). This mixed feelings are just so weird and hard to digest especially I just started my new job (by the time I'm writing this, I'm on my 2nd day btw), can't help but feeling somehow homesick? Yes, you may laugh at me for saying homesick right after resigning. It taught me loads of stuff theoretically and emotionally. Felt like it shaped me to the person I am now (?) woww~ can't believe I said that. 

Second, I started working at other bank. I joined their MT (Management Trainee) Program to become a RM (Relationship Manager). Inspired by the peoples from the previous bank, trying to challenge myself to becoming a RM as well. I'm currently on my 2nd day of training or working and had loads of doubts already HAHAHAHAAA I adore you dear RM and every single soul in my previous bank for doing this as your daily job #lebaychelle but tbh I'm still struggling and trying to comprehend every single things given, like it's really challenging because it's something out of my comfort zone but nope, not trying to give up but I'll try to give my best and let God do the rest and He placed me here and I believe He has His plan for me here #AMEN

Third, can't you believe it but I've been less Bucin (Budak Cinta = Love Slave) for Kpop lately HAHAHAHAAA. I don't know how to feel tbh. It's been such a while since the last time I stalk BTS, Kang Daniel, DPR, Gray, etc on Instagram and Twitter. I don't know why, this is weird like this is so not Michelle Sanjaya the Bucin. I used to be very update on what's been going around my bias' life but not anymore like I rarely know what's up these days. Maybe I've been living under the rock lately?

Fourth, I go private on my Instagram! Yes, you read it correctly "Private" no longer business profile "Blogger" for @michellesanjaya. Why? Even my family asked me this, so let me explain here. For me having the title "Blogger", I feel pressured I guess? Like having these 3/3 photos that matched on the feeds, the filter to match the whole mood or feeds, the pressure on how I look or present myself in the photos, my mom too like to brag to her friends "ey my daughter is a blogger leh". Well actually no one pressure me directly but my own thoughts indirectly pressure my own self? I don't know how to put this into words. Also when I had my business profile, I knew how many people visited my profile but WHY YOU DON'T FOLLOW ME LAH? HAHAHAAA no lah, just kidding, just feel like for the first time I want to go private with my life because of this words that I stumbled upon Dean's Instagram MV:

"These days knowing more makes you more miserable"

"Posting these photos but no one knows my hidden feelings behind it"

"Sometimes I feel alone even when I'm with lots of people, like Robinson Crusoe"

Dean, it's very deep and just hit so right. It's so true, especially when I posted all of my photos stock where I'm on hip places looking cool and enjoying my life but in reality I'm just in my office. working overtime. procrastinating. lol. Almost none of my stories were also real time these days because I'm trying to live the moment and just spend quality time with the loved ones or purely enjoying myself instead of thinking the filters, editing, caption for it right that time. Even tough some are also real time due to certain events. One thing I want to inform you is don't judge people from their Instagram because you don't know the what happened behind a photo. Don't let the internet rush you because everything looks perfect on Instagram because no one is posting their failure on Instagram.

I should stop here. I could go on until dawn probably. Yes. I wrote too much. But I'm open to comments, let me know what'd you think, let's exchange thoughts? I would love to hear from your point of view. Surprise me and let's be friend~

Thank you and have a great day

-Cheers, Michelle

Instagram | Youtube | Twitter | Pinterest | My Online Shop

Carousell & Snapchat: Booitsmichelle

Before 23

Aye Mates!
How are you? I really am a bad blogger for not posting here in such a while and my last posts are mostly endorsed and PR gifts. Which I personally felt bad because for not being the person who used to, talk about certain topics and random stuffs, feel like not being genuine to you and even to myself. I'm to be honest very disappointed with myself. I'm typing this on my blog because I'm turning 23 tomorrow and today I felt lots of thoughts just runs through my mind (almost like self-reflection) and now I just want to pour it all out here.

Time flies so fast without you even realizing it. A minute you're awake, starts your day, do your routine (school, working, living) and close your eyes to sleep. 24 hours is a very short amount of time without you even knowing and realizing it. The last year of being 22 has been like this for me:
- 6.12 AM: Wake up
- 7 AM: En route to office
- 7. 38 AM: Arrived
- 8 AM: Starts my work
- 12 PM: Lunch
- 5 PM: Suppose to be finishing my job but I work overtime
- 8 PM: The earliest for my overtime
- 9-10 PM: Finished my work
- 10.40 PM: Arrived back at home
- 11.30 PM: Go to sleep
Yes, the minutes could be exact, feels like a robot being under certain program.

I spent more than half of my day working and sometimes I feel lonely because every time my friends asked me to go out or hang with them my reply will be "I'm working overtime today". When my grandma and parents gave me a call throughout the day I will usually replied them fast "I'm working talk to you guys later.. Yes I'll go home late". Due to going home late everyday actually my health has been dropping too. Don't get me wrong, I love my job I really do that's why I wouldn't mind working overtime or maybe because I feel a huge responsibilities toward my job that's why that has become my priority. It even makes me dream about it when I go to sleep at night. I'm the type of person that will do overthinking even the slightest thing and most of the times are negative thoughts that tries to consume and eats me. That's why being busy makes me so happy sometimes because it gives me zero chance to think other than my job. Yes call me whatever you want. This is the first time writing and telling public about this. I'm known to be very positive-happy-go-lucky-girl when sometimes I can't be like that instead when the door is shut and it's just me and my thoughts. It's completely opposite. But due to my work all I can think is that job and makes me forgot that I have something that I treasures so much, my family, my friends, blogging and making youtube videos.

Maybe last month was the point when I came to realization that "You Can Work But You Need To Live For Yourself Too". As what Amy Lee from Vagabond Youth said, "There are far more nourishing currencies in life beyond money and attention and the only luxuries we truly have is time. Time with our loved ones, time to heal, time to ourselves. For no amount of money, power or status can buy any human more. We are often take for granted those who we think we'll have a lifetime with but the biggest mistake we can make is not expressing the love we have while we have it". This really hits me especially I felt that because I've been so tired from 5 days of working and so over the weekend I usually have zero energy to talk and do anything with my family. I felt really bad toward my grandma, she's been there since I was born and for 22 years of my life and I always have the thoughts she'll be with me forever. But after what Amy said hits me and makes me realized that she's not getting any younger and all that's left, I supposed to be the one in return makes her happy and makes her feels proud of me but with me working and having zero energy for anything, I don't think I'm near to makes her happy.

Right now, my ultimate goal after turning 23 is to just live for myself. I want to be happy and content with my life and my surrounding. I don't want to feel insecure. I want to make more memories with my loved ones. I just want to be genuinely positive and happy with myself. My target is to have the work life balance lives. Not going back home as late as usual (8 max), not going to overthink about stuffs (especially for work related), not going to say yes to everything.

From my experience, I want to tell you, it's okay to put yourself first before all things. You deserve to be happy. After all, you went through a lot. You have live this long, you made it, you should be proud but don't forget give thank to the one who gave you permission to live, God. Pray daily, ask everything in the name of Jesus and trust me all is well. The key to my happiness and all the above is God's blessings. I managed to live for 22 years is only by God's grace, I'm not saying it's because of how well I am. So for turning 23 in less than 24 hours all is because of God's grace and I pray through my life being 23 may God bless me as well and walk with me throughout every chapters of my life. Amen. Don't forget to be happy, live for yourself, speak yourself and love yourself. As what BTS said "I'm learning how to love myself", well you should too. Whatever you're going through right now, all the best for you and stay strong, you'll get it through.

Thank you for reading this far :)

-Cheers, Michelle
Instagram | Youtube | Twitter | Pinterest | My Online Shop
Snapchat & Carousell: Booitsmichelle