Just A Little Hope

H&M's Snapback ~ Cotton On's Tee ~ Thrifted Flannel ~ @BlackBook_Jkt's Bag ~ Converse Black Hi-Top

"And you will be secure, because there is hope;

you will be protected and will take your rest in safety"

-Job 11:18

Ayee Mates!!

Let me start with the look first. So I wore this couple of weeks ago when I visited Bogor for my dentist appointment and I found an old-vintage looking house across the dentist and I decided to just take a few photos regardless a bunch of people eyed me like "hell-o girl~ wth are you doin'" hahaha but yeah #Confidence #Dontcare :') I love flannel so much because I think its very grunge-ish esp. when you pair it with black hi-top, 5SOS much? I got this RAD bag from BlackBook which is a local brand and they sell a lot of grunge and RAD stuffs so you mates should go and check that out!

Second, I put this the quote and title with theme "HOPE" for this post is because lately I've been feeling so empty, not sad but some kind of weird feeling like tired, yes that's the perfect word for it. I'm tired and sick of this life like I just want to end everything or escape the reality. I cried almost every night thinking how worthless, ugly, bad I am and I feel like my existence isn't accepted not even my family, I just feel bad of myself. I don't know what to do and I can't even think straight, I did some things that you might be thinking now and its sucks but I can't stop it somehow, it hurts but at the same time I feel numb, I feel that the weight on my shoulder drop one by one and it climbs back to my mind and I kept on doing it. My mind is not a normal one. I'm afraid of the world like crazy, its a world full of hatred and judgements and I'm human I can't take everything all at once. It makes me think a lot about my body structure, physical appearance and even how I talk and how I dress up (its getting serious sometimes). No I'm not bullied, whereas I'm so blessed that I have a couple of friends that really understand my weirdness. I prayed and found this bible verse and I feel bad that I wanted to waste my life just like that while there are hundreds of people out there still fighting to take every breath of fresh oxygen, that makes me so ungrateful bitch, so that's why I'm trying to live the positive vibes life and please comment down below if you ever feel like this and trust me you're not alone, me too! :)

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Lately I've been so into making video more than writing blog.. omg.. does that make me a bad blogger now? :')

-cheer, michelle

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