As A Robinson Crusoe

Agashe.Co's Sandal & Bucket Hat ~ HM's Sunnies & Canvas Bag ~ Jochebed.Id's Cooky Fan

Aye Mates!

How are you? I hope all is well.

As for myself, lots of things happened ever since my last post or in other words "after 23".

First, I resigned from my last job and company and move to other company (still a bank doe #banker lol.. nope). 25th October was my last day and marked my 1 year 5 months working in the previous bank. To be very honest, I don't know how to feel. I'm excited for the new adventure and challenges but at the same I'm quite heavy-hearted leaving the bank, it's been like my comfort zone (even though the job desc is quite risky lol but the people has always been like a family for me). This mixed feelings are just so weird and hard to digest especially I just started my new job (by the time I'm writing this, I'm on my 2nd day btw), can't help but feeling somehow homesick? Yes, you may laugh at me for saying homesick right after resigning. It taught me loads of stuff theoretically and emotionally. Felt like it shaped me to the person I am now (?) woww~ can't believe I said that. 

Second, I started working at other bank. I joined their MT (Management Trainee) Program to become a RM (Relationship Manager). Inspired by the peoples from the previous bank, trying to challenge myself to becoming a RM as well. I'm currently on my 2nd day of training or working and had loads of doubts already HAHAHAHAAA I adore you dear RM and every single soul in my previous bank for doing this as your daily job #lebaychelle but tbh I'm still struggling and trying to comprehend every single things given, like it's really challenging because it's something out of my comfort zone but nope, not trying to give up but I'll try to give my best and let God do the rest and He placed me here and I believe He has His plan for me here #AMEN

Third, can't you believe it but I've been less Bucin (Budak Cinta = Love Slave) for Kpop lately HAHAHAHAAA. I don't know how to feel tbh. It's been such a while since the last time I stalk BTS, Kang Daniel, DPR, Gray, etc on Instagram and Twitter. I don't know why, this is weird like this is so not Michelle Sanjaya the Bucin. I used to be very update on what's been going around my bias' life but not anymore like I rarely know what's up these days. Maybe I've been living under the rock lately?

Fourth, I go private on my Instagram! Yes, you read it correctly "Private" no longer business profile "Blogger" for @michellesanjaya. Why? Even my family asked me this, so let me explain here. For me having the title "Blogger", I feel pressured I guess? Like having these 3/3 photos that matched on the feeds, the filter to match the whole mood or feeds, the pressure on how I look or present myself in the photos, my mom too like to brag to her friends "ey my daughter is a blogger leh". Well actually no one pressure me directly but my own thoughts indirectly pressure my own self? I don't know how to put this into words. Also when I had my business profile, I knew how many people visited my profile but WHY YOU DON'T FOLLOW ME LAH? HAHAHAAA no lah, just kidding, just feel like for the first time I want to go private with my life because of this words that I stumbled upon Dean's Instagram MV:

"These days knowing more makes you more miserable"

"Posting these photos but no one knows my hidden feelings behind it"

"Sometimes I feel alone even when I'm with lots of people, like Robinson Crusoe"

Dean, it's very deep and just hit so right. It's so true, especially when I posted all of my photos stock where I'm on hip places looking cool and enjoying my life but in reality I'm just in my office. working overtime. procrastinating. lol. Almost none of my stories were also real time these days because I'm trying to live the moment and just spend quality time with the loved ones or purely enjoying myself instead of thinking the filters, editing, caption for it right that time. Even tough some are also real time due to certain events. One thing I want to inform you is don't judge people from their Instagram because you don't know the what happened behind a photo. Don't let the internet rush you because everything looks perfect on Instagram because no one is posting their failure on Instagram.

I should stop here. I could go on until dawn probably. Yes. I wrote too much. But I'm open to comments, let me know what'd you think, let's exchange thoughts? I would love to hear from your point of view. Surprise me and let's be friend~

Thank you and have a great day

-Cheers, Michelle

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